To Bake a Cake
by Daisy Bokoblin
Summary: Peach is bored. She has no matches today, and there's nothing to do! ...Or is there? Poor Ike dooms everyone in the mansion with one sentence- "If you're really bored, why don't you just bake or something?"


**AN - So, this was originally supposed to be a oneshot for my sister's birthday, but it got so long I had to split it into two parts. This is part one. Happy birthday sis, and she and I hope all you readers out there enjoy!**

* * *

Peach sat on a stone bench in the huge yard of the Smash Mansion, reading her new novel. It was a sunny day, the birds were chirping and a light breeze kept the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom from getting too hot. Smiling, Peach flipped the page and realized- She had finished reading her book. It seemed as though everything froze for a moment before a shrill scream ripped through the air.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Peach jumped from her bench, clutching her fists at the sky. "WHYYYY!? THAT WAS THE LAST BOOK!" The princess fell to her knees, sobbing wildly into her hands. Why was she so upset?

Well, when she woke up on this particular morning, she was perky and happy until she realized something. She had no matches today. At first she was only mildly disappointed, but as the day wore on she became increasingly bored and snappish. Why, just before she found three books buried in her drawer she had called Marth a prissy little girl, slugged Snake in the nose when he asked how she was and told Donkey Kong to go suck a lemon after he highfived Diddy Kong (for no apparent reason).

Long story short, today was not a good day for the princess. The books she found in her dresser were her only relief today, but she had already finished all the thousand page novels by 9:30 in the morning. What was she to do now?

Slowly, Peach rose to her feet and picked up the three books to start reading them again. Anything to pass the time, after all. Before she could start on the first one again, though, someone cleared their throat behind the princess, causing her to jump three feet into the air.

"Whataya want?!" She snapped, turning to find herself face to face with one of her fellow smashers, a tall mercenary.

"Don't kill me!" Ike raised his hands and backed away slightly. "I just wanted to know what you're doing out here, ya know, since you screamed like someone was brutally murdering you."

"You want the truth?" Peach almost spat at the mercenary. "I'm bored."

Ike was confused. "...You're bored? That's it?"

If looks could kill, Ike would have been dead before he hit the ground.

"Yesss, Ike." Peach hissed. "I. Am. Bored. There's nothing to do, and I have no matches today!"

"Calm down." Ike raised his hands in surrender. "If you're really bored, why don't you just bake or something?"

Little did Ike know he had just doomed everybody in the mansion with that one sentence.

Peach was silent for a moment, staring into space. "...Baking. I'll bake! That's great! Thank you soooo much Ike!" The princess jumped from the bench and tightly hugged the startled mercenary.

"Thaaat's great, Peach. Now could you please get off of me?"

"Sure!" Peach let go abruptly, causing Ike to stagger back a bit. "I'm gonna go right now!"

And with that, Peach ran into the mansion, Ike shaking his head.

* * *

Peach stood in the kitchen, whipping open random cupboards in search of ingredients. For what? Even Peach didn't know yet.

"What to bake, what to bake…" Peach was muttering to herself as she pulled out a box of gummy worms and tossed them onto the counter.

"Ummm, Peach? What are you doing?" A voice asked from behind the frenetic princess.

Peach turned, startled until she saw her friend, a fellow smasher and a fellow princess.

"Zelda!" Peach ran to Zelda and grasped her shoulders from the front, keeping their eyes locked. "I am baking, but I don't know what to bake! Do you have any ideas?! Any at all?!"

Zelda was too startled to speak for a moment, but quickly regained some composure and responded. "Well, aren't you always going on about how you've wanted to bake the best cake in the world ever since you were a little girl? Try baking that now!"

Peach's eyes lit up like two gold coins shimmering. "Yes! Yes yes yes! It is perfect!" The Mushroom kingdom princess released her fellow princess and began pacing. "If I need to make the best tasting cake ever, though, I'll need supplies. And to get all the supplies I need, I'll need help…" A pleading look overcame her face as she turned to Zelda, who had already caught on to what Peach wanted from her.

A sigh escaped the Hylian's lips, but nonetheless she smiled at Peach. "Sure, I'll help you."

"Great!" Peach danced around the kitchen before turning back to Zelda. "So, which smashers should we kidnap? I personally think Pit would be a great help-"

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa. No one said anything about kidnapping anybody!"

Peach began to puppy dog pout and looked at Zelda with giant eyes. "But- but we need help to get all the supplies and to bake!" Peach began to sniffle and continued. "We can't do it all alo- alone!"

"Why don't we just ask them?" Zelda suggested, not wanting to kidnap anybody.

"Nobody will agree! They're all mean, cruel people!" Peach continued sniffling and pouting, until finally Zelda spoke up.

"...Fine. As long as nobody gets hurt!"

"Yaaaay!" Peach giggled and grabbed Zelda's hands with her own. "So, who should we get? Who can help us the most?"

_This is gonna be a loooong day. _Zelda mentally facepalmed.

* * *

Marth sat in the lounge, reading a book from his room, though he wasn't paying it much attention.

_I'll show her who's a prissy little girl, just let me at her in a match and she'll WISH she never said anything! _The prince fumed silently. Just today, Peach had insulted him out of the blue and just walked away, leaving Marth to wonder why she'd say such a thing. She (and everybody else in the mansion) knew how much it bothered Marth to be called a girl, and today, with Peach, was the last straw. He had been insulted by the smashers once too often, and now he felt the need to show them he was a force to be reckoned with by doing… Something. Marth was still working out the details.

Sighing, he closed the book he held with a snap and threw it on the table in front of him. He wasn't reading it, anyways. Sitting back in the chair, Marth began to plot something to prove he wasn't to be called a girl anymore when a blunt object was brought down on his head heavily, causing him to fall out of his chair and onto the floor.

Just before he blacked out, he could hear two sentences spoken from behind him.

"You said no one would get hurt!"

"Ah, this prissy little girl wouldn't come any other way."

* * *

Ike and Roy were sparring in the training room. They each used strength to their advantage, unlike Marth who would attack much more gracefully and quickly, or Link who was almost a mix of all of them.

"Oh, was that a slipup, Ike?" Roy taunted as he stabbed his sword at his opponent, who barely managed to dodge.

"I wouldn't be talking Roy," Ike smirked as he parried a blow with his sword. "At least I didn't get replaced by another swordsman for Brawl. You're only here to watch matches."

Roy growled and charged Ike, swinging his sword wildly, trying to get a hit in somewhere out of anger.

Ike wasn't entirely prepared and had to move quicker than he ever had before to block Roy's attacks, not able to parry them all and earning small nicks and cuts. Within twenty seconds, Ike was on the floor, Roy's sword at his throat.

"...Can I get up now?" Ike asked after a few minutes of lying on the floor with Roy still standing there, pinning him down.

"...Fine." Roy backed up, allowing Ike to stand back up.

"Wow man," Ike breathed, "I think they should've brought you back for Brawl. That was intense!"

"Thanks, but who is this 'they' you speak of?"

"The people we aren't supposed to know about. Even the author doesn't know how I know."

"Yeah, and this fanfiction wasn't supposed to break the fourth wall! Now stop talking about it, before someone hears us!"

Ike shrugged, and turned to leave before being stopped in his tracks by a loud crash behind him. Spinning, he saw something absolutely crazy. Roy was lying face first on the floor, arms and legs spread out at awkward angles. Standing above him was Zelda, hands covering her mouth in shock, and Peach, who spun her frying pan on her finger which was slipped through the hole in the end of the handle.

"Peach, you said this time we'd ask!" Zelda gasped, facing her fellow princess.

"Asking never works!" Peach said happily before she noticed Ike standing nearby, frozen in place by shock. "Hi, Ike!" She began to lightly sweat. "Whatcha dooooing?"

Ike wasn't speaking. Heck, Peach and Zelda couldn't even tell if he was breathing.

"Ike? Heeeelloooooo? Anybody home?" Peach crossed the short distance between her and the mercenary and snapped her fingers in his face. It did nothing, Ike still frozen in place.

"Peach! You broke him!" Zelda stormed over to Peach.

"Yeah, but if he's like this, he'll have no problem just coming with us! Grab Roy, I've got Ike." Peach grabbed the mercenary's hand as Zelda transformed into her alter ego, Sheik, so she could carry Roy better.

"Let's go, Ike!" Peach smiled and walked off, still holding Ike's hand, and the mercenary followed behind her silently, still unblinking.

Shaking her head, Sheik slung Roy over her shoulder and followed behind the other two Smashers.

* * *

Link was sitting in his room, staring at the ceiling.

Toon Link and Ness were sitting on the other side of the room, watching Link watch the ceiling. Finally, Link cracked.

"Do you two have nothing better to do than watch me!?" Link jumped up from his chair.

"No, me and Ness have a one on one match tonight, and we don't know what to do until then!" Toon Link spoke up for the first time since he and Ness had entered Link's room.

"Arrrgh!" Link fell back into his chair, massaging his forehead. "You two stress me out, you know that?"

"Yep!" Ness smiled.

"Ness, it was a rhetorical question." Link groaned, bringing his gaze back to the ceiling.

A knock on the door startled them all, and Link stood to open it. As the door swung open, however, Link was hit in the face by a frying pan. Ness and Toon Link were at such an angle that they couldn't see into the hallway, so the frying pan came as quite the surprise.

"Oh crap! This is Link's room!?" A shrill voice said, one that the two young smashers identified as Peach.

"That's what I've been saying this WHOLE time!" Another, more annoyed voice rang out, one that Toon Link and Ness could tell was Zelda.

"Peach? Zelda?" Ness squeaked. "Is that you?"

It was silent for a moment before a head peeked itself into the room, blonde hair adorned by a small crown.

"Ness! Toon Link!" Peach sounded overjoyed as she walked into the room, stepping over the unconscious body of Link. Zelda followed her in, but bent to check on Link instead. "How would you like to help me and Zelda with something?"

"With what?" Toon Link asked curiously.

Peach smiled kindly and sat down on the bed in between the two children, ready to tell them everything.

* * *

_That's everybody! _Peach thought happily. She and Zelda had stored the smashers they kidnapped in Peach's room, where they tied up a few of them to keep them from escaping.

"Peach." Marth had his hands and ankles bound behind his back, and he was propped up (albeit uncomfortably) against the hot pink wall. Every word he spoke was dangerously calm. "What. Are. You. Doing."

"I needed people to help me!" Peach smiled giddily.

"With what?" Roy groaned, he had just woken up a few moments before to find he was tied up in a girl's room.

"With baking!"

_Oh no._ Ike mentally face palmed. He had unfrozen when Peach started saying things about chicken to him, and he was tied just like the rest of the kidnapped smashers. But as Peach explained why everyone was here, he began to get more nervous than he already was. He was the one who gave her the idea to bake! Although, no one knew that besides Ike and Peach. Maybe if she'd just keep her big mouth shut for once nobody else would ever have to know…

"And I'd like to thank Ike for giving me the idea!"

_Oooooh noooo. I'm in for it. _Ike began sweating nervously as Marth began staring at him with a murderous look in his eyes.

Peach, however, was oblivious to the murder being planned in the captive prince's mind. She just clapped her hands together, bringing everybody's attention to her. Who was everybody?

She first kidnapped Marth, then proceeded to kidnap Ike, Roy, Link, Toon Link, Ness (though the two children came willingly), Pit, Lucario, Mr. Game and Watch, R.O.B., Olimar with all his Pikmin, the Pokemon Trainer Red and all three of his Pokemon, Luigi, Fox, Zelda (she eventually didn't want to keep kidnapping people, so Peach had to kidnap her as well), and Samus in her Zero Suit. I know, I know, you're all wondering one thing. How could Peach kidnap Samus? Well, it wasn't so much Peach kidnapping her as it was Peach BEGGING her to help, on her knees with hands clasped. Samus caved because of how annoying Peach was being, causing the princess great joy (not at being annoying, mind you, at being successful in convincing Samus to join).

As soon as everybody's attention was on her, Peach smiled. "Now, I'd like to thank the _three _people who came willingly, Toon Link, Ness, and Samus!" The princess put emphasis on the word three, a message to Zelda that, if she had continued with Peach's plan, that number would have been a four.

Zelda shook her head and sighed. _This is going to be a loooooooong day._

* * *

Peach dragged Marth out of the Smash Mansion, holding him by his bound hands.

"Ow!" Marth winced as the princess dragged him over a large rock. "If you're gonna drag me around, at least have the decency to avoid dragging me over large objects!"

"You girl, that rock was tiny!" Peach giggled as Marth scowled.

"That 'tiny' rock was bigger than your head!" The prince was not exaggerating, but Peach still didn't believe him.

Though the going was slow and painful (for Marth, anyways), Peach eventually was successful in her goal, dragging Marth over to the Smash Mansion's long driveway, where a large black van was parked, the Super Smash Brother's symbol painted on the sides.

"What are you-" But the prince never finished his sentence. Peach opened the back doors to the van, revealing the contents of the van, every other kidnapped smasher. The three who had come willingly were sitting in the seats of the van instead of squishing in the back.

Peach grabbed Marth awkwardly, trying to lift him the short way into the van.

"Ow!" Marth yelped when Peach managed to throw him in the back, resulting in him smashing his head off of the floor of the van.

"Perfect!" Peach clasped her hands together happily before slamming the doors shut, trapping the kidnappees in the dark van.

"Juuust great." Link moaned.

"Peach didn't even want you, Link." Zelda muttered. "She thought your room was Red's."

"Just great! So I'm here because that ditsy princess didn't know where the Pokemon trainer's room was." Link groaned while Red laughed.

"I am so glad that she didn't know where my room was!" The Pokemon trainer was hysterical at Link's predicament, and Lucario was becoming slightly concerned for Red's sanity.

"Does anybody know where she's taking us?" Pit questioned.

"Shopping," Zelda sighed.

* * *

Samus pulled the large van into the parking lot of a Hannafords, Peach clapping happily.

"We're heeere!" The princess called out, climbing out of the van and opening the back. Even with Samus' skilled driving, the kidnapped smashers had gotten all jumbled up in a gigantic heap. "Are you ready to shop?"

"How are we going to shop if we are restrained with these ropes?" Olimar piped up from somewhere in the pile.

"Oh, I already thought of that!" Peach giggled, pulling out a remote control from… Somewhere. Don't question her hidden pockets. The princess held up the remote for all to see, even though some of them couldn't see due to being crushed underneath their fellow smashers. "Ya see, I stole some of Snake's little bombs and planted one on all of you when you were unconscious. If you try to escape when I remove the ropes, I'll blow ya sky high!" Peach giggled brightly, as if murdering her friends was going to be fun!

"...I see your point." Olimar's small voice rang out once again, tinted with fear.

"Great! Now lets get started!" Peach grabbed the nearest smasher, Mr. Game and Watch, and undid his ropes (don't ask me how she got them on in the first place, it should be impossible, but this is my fanfiction, and I can do what I want in it).

Samus came round the back and started helping, along with Toon Link and Ness. They had already known of the bombs being placed on their fellow smashers, but they learned that they also had bombs (that none of them could find), so there was nothing they could do.

As soon as everyone was out and untied, Peach clapped happily. "Great! Now let's go shopping!"

* * *

Peach stood in the entrance of the huge supermarket, the smashers she kidnapped waiting for her instructions. The princess pondered for a few minutes. How to cover the most ground in the least amount of time? It was like a lightbulb lit itself above her head as the perfect idea came to her.

"Smashers!" Peach clapped her hands together, attracting the group's attention. "I know how we are going to do this! I am going to separate you all into four groups of four while I go and take care of some… Things. I'll give you a list, and you must buy everything on it, no exceptions."

"But wait," Roy spoke up, "what if we try to escape? You can't be watching all four groups at once!"

"Oh, that's easy!" Peach smiled. "I also planted trackers on you when I planted the bombs! I'll know exactly where you are at all times, so any escape attempts will end with a bang!" The princess giggled at her pun. Now she only needed to make all four groups of four, and they could get started!

* * *

Toon Link looked at the list he held in his hands warily. "She wants us to buy unsweetened sweetener? Is that even possible?"

"Nooo, it's not." Fox groaned, staring up at the white ceiling.

"Then how can we buy it?" Luigi mused in his Italian accent, playing with his mustache.

"We have to buy it! If we don't, Peach is gonna blow us up!" Ness panicked.

"Hmmm." Toon Link thought for a few moments, then snapped his fingers. "I've got it!"

The small group gathered around to hear Toon Link's plan.

"Here's what we do," the young boy whispered for no apparent reason. "We buy sweetener, then we write the word unsweetened on the package!"

Fox face palmed. "Is that the best we've got?!"

Luigi shrugged, walking away to find the sweetener. "It's the best we've got, since unsweetened sweetener doesn't exist!"

Toon Link turned back to the list to see what else they'd need to buy. Chocolate baking soda? Liquid baking powder? The hero of winds eyes grew even larger. None of these things existed!

_Just great._

* * *

Ike awkwardly picked up a bag of Hershey Kisses (they were on the list) and threw them into the shopping cart, Marth still giving him glares. Roy and Link were reading the list, discussing what would be the quickest way to get through the store.

"If we get everything near the back of the store first, and work our way to the front, we'll save a TON of time!" Link gestured with his left hand to the back wall of the Hannafords.

"No, no, no!" Roy argued back, slightly annoyed at Link. "If we start near the front, where we already ARE, and then work our way to the back, we'll be done within fifteen minutes!"

"No! The checkout aisles are at the front, if we start at the back and work our way to the front, we'll save more time!"

"Ha! If we start at the back, we'll need to walk all the way there, wasting all our time! We start at the front!"

"Nooooo, we start at the back!"

"The front!"

"The back!"

"The front!"

"The back!"

This went on for quite some time, Link and Roy bickering while Marth continued death staring at a very frightened Ike. Finally, Marth snapped.

"How could you give Peach an _idea_?!" The prince growled at the mercenary. "You know how she gets when she has her _own _ideas, you don't need to go giving her them! Remember when she had the bright idea to make a life sized baking soda volcano? Inside the mansion?! We all smelt like baking soda and vinegar for weeks! Not to mention the fact she completely demolished the living room!"

Ike backed away quickly. "All I said to her was that she should bake something!"

"Exactly!" Marth threw his hands up in frustration. "You gave her an idea! I hope this teaches you to _never _give Peach an idea. _Ever._" The prince stared at Ike, a murderous glint in his eyes.

"Yep." Ike squeaked in fear.

"Good." Marth was still fuming, but right now he just wanted to buy everything on the list and get out of there. "Link! Roy!" The two bickering teens turned to face the prince, startled at his tone of voice. "It does NOT matter whether we start in the back or in the front, either would take the same amount of time! Just read what's on the list and buy it so we can get out of here!"

All Roy and Link could do was nod silently, fearful for their lives should they disobey Marth. Quickly, they began reading the list aloud.

* * *

Zelda and Samus read their list, pondering where they could find most of the items while their other two teammates, Pit and Red, were goofing off with a shopping cart.

"How long do you bet I can go being pushed in this shopping cart before throwing up or begging to be let off?" Red mused aloud, causing snickers from Pit.

"No more than twenty seconds, especially if I'm pushing you." Pit grinned maliciously, causing the Pokemon trainer to frown.

"Really? How much you want to bet on that?"

"Ten bucks."

"You're on!"

With that, Red jumped into the cart, Pit snickering as he walked over and grabbed the handle.

"You ready?" Pit smirked.

"Oh heck yes!" Red exclaimed as he gripped the cart better.

"Wait!" Pit suddenly snapped his fingers. "We need someone to time this! After all, ten bucks are on the line!"

Red groaned. "You're right! How could we almost forget the most important part!" Mentally face palming, his attention was diverted back to the two girls. "Oooh, Zelda? Samus? Could one of you time us?"

Samus sighed. "I'm not even going to get involved. I want to be able to claim full innocence and ignorance to your little stunt when you get arrested for it."

Pit and Red looked at Zelda pleadingly. "Pleeeease?" Red clasped his hands, and Zelda had a flashback to earlier in the kitchen with Peach.

"Fiiine," Zelda groaned, pulling out her cell phone and opening her timer app.

"Yeeees!" Pit and Red highfived before turning back to the task at hand.

Zelda readied her finger over the start timer button. "Ready… Set… Go!"

And all pandemonium broke loose.

* * *

Mr. Game and Watch walked down the aisles, beeping all the way. He and his group, Olimar, R.O.B. and Lucario, had gotten almost everything on their list already, now all they needed to find was the milk, and Mr. Game and Watch thought that shouldn't be too hard.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Just as he turned a corner with Olimar by his side, they had to lunge to the side to avoid being crushed by a shopping cart flying by at 90 miles per hour. Who was driving said shopping cart?

"...Why did Pit just push a shopping cart with Red in it travelling at a crazy high speed?" Olimar quietly squeaked.

Mr. Game and Watch was too stunned to say anything, he just stared at the cloud of dust left behind in Pit and Red's wake.

"...Yeah, Red's insane." Lucario shook his head at the Pokemon trainer and the angel's stupidity.

R.O.B. rolled over and stared at the black, steaming skid marks left on the floor of the supermarket by the speeding shopping cart. "...Let's go get the milk."

Olimar nodded, swallowing nervously. "Yeah. Let's get the milk."

As they walked off, still slightly unsure of where the milk was and what just happened, Lucario was almost decapitated.

"What the-?!" The Pokemon gasped, ducking underneath the sword coming at his head just in time.

"ROY, YOU'RE DEAD!" Link screamed at the top of his lungs, charging the red head.

"NO, LINK! YOU'RE DEAD!" Roy roared, jumping at Link as they became locked in a intense sword fight in the middle of the supermarket, onlookers screaming and running for their lives.

"Guys, stop!" Marth yelled, trying to stop the two dueling teens while not getting killed himself.

"Roy, stop being a baby!" Ike insulted the red head while trying to keep him from killing Link. "Link just said he still thought starting at the back would be best, you didn't need to call him dumb for that!"

"Oh, I'M the baby?! You're the one who can't hold his own in a sword fight for the life of him!"

Well, that set Ike off. Now Roy and Ike were dueling while Marth still tried to calm Link down.

"Marth, stop being a little girly girl and get out of the way!" Link yelled. "I have a score to settle!"

Marth froze, his face dangerously calm. "What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me."

Link realized his mistake, but too late. "Umm, NOT a little girly girl, that's for sure!" He chuckled nervously, hoping Marth might believe him.

Obviously, he did not. One second the prince stood still, the next he was intensely dueling Link, his sword flying.

All this was happening to the wondering, terrified eyes of the four smashers who were searching for milk, all of them still frozen in place by what they were seeing.

"...What is going on?" Olimar squeaked.

"...I have no idea. We should probably get out of here." Lucario slowly started backing up, the rest of his group following suit.

Before they could leave, however, they all froze, a squealing noise slowly growing louder behind them. As they slowly turned, they were greeted by a shopping cart holding Red coming at them head on. Screaming, they all jumped out of the way before they could be crushed by the squealing Red and the laughing Pit.

"STOOOP!" Red screeched, and Pit immediately pulled to a stop.

"TIME!" The angel called out excitedly. "Zelda, what was it?!"

Zelda walked over to the shopping cart, Samus by her side.

"19.9 seconds," She groaned, knowing how this would cause quite the bickering between the two boys.

"What!?" Red gasped.

"YES!" Pit did a little fist pump, slightly oblivious to the heated glares he was receiving from Red.

"That's not fair!" The Pokemon trainer growled, jumping from the cart only to land on his behind.

Pit was hysterical now, watching Red painfully picking himself off of the floor. What the angel didn't notice was that the Pokemon trainer was pulling out a Pokeball from his pocket.

"Go Ivysaur!" Red yelled, throwing the Pokeball onto the floor. Before Pit could do anything, Ivysaur was out of his Pokeball and had his vines wrapped around the angel's body.

"Hey!" Pit yelled, struggling frantically against his restraints. "Red! Tell this thing to let me go!"

"Hmm," Red was inspecting his fingernails idly. "Oh, you want me to help you? Nah, not gonna happen."

Pit was fuming. "Red, tell your dang Pokemon to let me go. Or are you gonna always hide behind your little pets?"

Now Red was ticked off, but he didn't command Ivysaur to let Pit go. No, he wasn't done with the angel yet. "Ivysaur, come." Red beckoned the Pokemon to follow him as he walked away, nobody who was watching the whole scene unfold trying to stop him. Ivysaur lifted Pit off of the ground and followed behind his master, the angel kicking and struggling, still yelling at Red.

Samus watched the scene unfold along with Zelda and just shook her head. "That was why I wasn't going to get involved."

"En garde!" Link yelled at Marth, who was winning. Link just liked to pretend he was doing better than his fellow swordsman.

Zelda's attention was caught by the yell, and she noticed the two swordsmen dueling. "Oh no!" She gasped. "Link's losing!" And with that, she went to help her fellow Hylian in the fight.

Samus stared. "I wasn't going to get involved, but really, two on one? That is not fair," the bounty hunter muttered as she went to help Marth and even the odds.

Just as Samus joined Marth's side, the floor began shaking underneath all the smasher's feet, causing them all to stop fighting for a moment.

"What's going on!?" Zelda cried, grabbing onto a nearby shelf to steady herself.

Just then, Fox, Luigi, Ness, and Toon Link all came running by, yelling the same thing-

"THE PIGS ARE COMING!"

* * *

_**Flashback to, like, 5 minutes ago:**_

"Awww!" Toon Link scooped up the pig at his feet. "Did you follow me here? You were supposed to stay in my room!"

Fox stared at the animal Toon Link held aloft. "Is that the pet you're always going on and on about owning? Piggie, or something?"

Toon Link looked offended at Fox's statement. "His name is Mr. Piggums! Don't offend him by calling him Piggie!" He turned to his pig. "It's alright, Mr. Piggums! Mean old Fox was just being stupid!"

Luigi and Ness gave each other worried looks. This wouldn't end well.

"What did you just call me?" Fox growled, pulling out his blaster and aiming at Toon Link.

The blonde boy saw what he did, though, and jumped out of the way just as Fox fired. Unfortunately, the shot hit Mr. Piggums instead.

"Oh no!" Toon Link looked horrified as he dropped the pig. "Now you've done it, Fox! RUUUUN!"

With that, Toon Link turned tail and fled, leaving behind his pig.

"What the-?" The three smashers were confused, until they looked at Mr. Piggums, that is. The pig was flashing red and was charging them, along with three other pigs.

It took Fox, Luigi, and Ness only one moment to decide what to do. "RUUUUN!"

* * *

_**Back to the present…**_

"AGGGH!" Every single smasher who was in the supermarket (besides Peach) were all running together, trying to get away from the most horrifying sight ever to meet their eyes-

Mr. Piggums and his posse.

Luigi, Lucario, Mr. Game and Watch, and Red all had managed to grab the shopping carts containing the supplies the other smashers had collected, and were pushing them along as they ran.

"Toon Link!" Roy gasped, trying to get air into his lungs after dueling for so long then running. "Is there anyway to stop them?!"

"Wait until they cool off!" Toon Link yelped, almost running headfirst into another shopper. Luckily, Mr. Piggums and the other three pigs were only interested in the smashers and no one else.

"That's it?" Marth was incredulous. "You run away and wait for them to get bored?!"

"Yep! And you can blame Fox for getting him angry in the first place!"

"Hey! I wouldn't have shot that pig if you didn't call me stupid!"

"Fox, Toon Link!" Ike yelled nervously. "We have bigger problems right now besides who's fault this is!"

A squeal from behind reinforced Ike's statement as everyone sped up a little more to outrun the crazed pigs.

"Do you think they're almost tired out yet?" Luigi panted, pushing a shopping cart. "Because I sure am!"

"Almost!" Toon Link panted, and, as if by magic, the pigs abruptly stopped running. Mr. Piggums was no longer flashing red, and just waddled around, as if he wasn't just running at top speed, trying to kill a group of people.

"Finally," Link groaned, plopping down on the ground to rest. Everyone else followed suit, except Toon Link, who instead picked up Mr. Piggums and wagged his finger in the pig's face.

"Mr. Piggums! That was mean!" Toon Link acted as if the pig trying to kill him and his friends was something only mildly disturbing. "Come along!" He carried his pet pig and plopped him into a shopping cart. "Let's go check out!"

* * *

Peach shoved the last shopping bag into the back of the van, where the smashers who didn't willingly come were forced to sit since the front seats were taken by Samus, Peach, Toon Link, and Ness.

"Is that everything?" Marth asked sarcastically, peeved about being shoved in such a crowded space with Link, who called him a girl not twenty minutes before.

"Yep!" The princess of the Mushroom Kingdom chirped happily, oblivious to the death stares she was receiving from almost everyone as she slammed the van doors shut.

* * *

"Everyone, grab a bag!" Peach ordered the smashers around, knowing they couldn't resist because of Snake's bombs.

Watching as her fellow smashers obeyed and picked up the shopping bags to carry them into the Smash Mansion, Peach happily clapped and skipped into the mansion, not bothering to grab a bag herself.

Once everyone had set the bags down in the kitchen, a unanimous sigh of relief went up among the kidnapped smashers.

"We can go now, right?" Pit grinned at Peach. "Well, once you tell us where the bombs are planted on us."

"Oh no!" Peach had a look of horror on her face. "You're all not done yet!"

"Whaaaaaat?" Samus groaned. "But all you said you wanted was help shopping!"

The princess of the Mushroom Kingdom giggled. "Silly, I must have forgotten to mention it! You're all helping me bake, too!"

Zelda facepalmed while everyone else started arguing.

_This day can't get any worse, _the kidnapped princess thought sullenly.

She didn't know just how wrong she was.

* * *

**AN - Nooo idea when I'll get part two up, but any reviews, follows, and favorites are appreciated by me and my sister! :)**


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